walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
