Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
