i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
