remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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