Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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