my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
