i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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