why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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