so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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