saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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