that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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