Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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