Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
