Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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