so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
should my penis look like a turkey
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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