And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
