Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
