Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We have so much sex to catch up on
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
