I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
