Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
