my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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