My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
