Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
