I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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