I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
