somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
