I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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