Jerry, you need to find god
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
