there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
