Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
