Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
