I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
