My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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