Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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