"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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