great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
