Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
