your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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