i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
