i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
