I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
