So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
