I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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