I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
