Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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