I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
