I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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