Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
