i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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