I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
