I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
