I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
BRING THE BAGELS
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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