You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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