Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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