Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
how does that bad decision feel?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
