He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
