I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
