Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
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i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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