K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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